Joie De Vive

Lets face it... being a mom is beyond exhausting. It tests your patience (or lack thereof in my case), shows you how long you can really last without sleep, force you to get used to eating cold food every.single.meal, and most of all... it really tests your marriage.... more on that last one some other time though.

As cute as babies are, they really suck your time away. I wake up after a fitful night of sleep of constantly waking up to feed her, diaper her or burp her.. make breakfast for myself and then immediately fall into the cycle of taking care of my behbeh. Just when I've gotten her to sleep after an hour and half of feeding her and cuddling her and playing with her - she wakes up and it starts all over again... and yet....

I love her to death.

Its been getting harder and harder to take care of her. She sleeps less and is awake more. This means that she's much more demanding of my time. To top it off, she hates it when I'm not within eyesight of her - as my mom says : she has me on a short leash. Her crying non stop really does drive me nuts but its next to impossible to be upset with her - the second she sees me she starts smiling and hiding her face out of excitement. *melt*

She's recently started smiling and giggling and "talking" in her own babbling sort of way and it absolutely melts my heart. She wakes up in the morning and as soon as she sees my face she lets out the most gorgeous little gummy smile you've ever seen. I swear it makes me cry every single frigging time I see it.

Out of everyone in this world that little girl (for now) loves me absolutely unconditionally. To her, I'm the most awesome human being EVARRRRR. I know that some day she'll become a surly teenager that would rather die than hang out with her parents and their friends. However, for now I am perfection in her little eyes. It is seriously terrifying to know how much I can influence her.

I catch her watching me when I'm on the computer or on the phone. She stares with such intensity that I swear she understands every single word out of my mouth and can read every expression on my face. When she sees me happy or excited she copies it... and she looks at me when she's smacked herself in the face to  see if its okay to cry. Of course like any good mother - I crack up at her. ;)

.. and to think.. the Big Guy upstairs thought it was a smart idea to hand me a kid...

HAH