So much of what we know is based off how we grew up. I'm a very firm believer in it.
In fact, its something I've been recently dealing with almost on a daily basis. I grew up in a house where you were expected to respect not only your time but everyone else's too, your word was worth its weight in gold - without it you were nothing, a successful person strived to be the best that they could be but at the same time met his/her responsibilities with no excuses.....
I bring all those things into my daily life... I do things on time and quickly so I can move on to the next thing. Once responsibilities are done, THEN and only then will I make time for fun. I refuse to be one of those people that lives for fun and fun alone... and then suffers for it later.
Would I bring this into my soon to be child's life too? I hope so... I want him/her to be successful at whatever they choose to be - feel free to be crazy and messy, but once its done, be responsible and clean up immediately rather than two days later.....
What's that saying? The one about a messy environment reflects a messy mind? Cleanliness is next to godliness? If we go the religion route then our own Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him), kept himself clean at all times. We're taught that when you pray, you must pray in a clean environment. If your house is clean then angels are part of that house.....
Then how do I reconcile that with my life today? I work full time, I'm pregnant and beyond exhausted and all I want is to come home to a clean apartment... clean not as in just stuff put away, but clean as in lack of dust and dirt..... I don't mean every day (other than picking up the stuff around the house really quickly in about ten minutes).. But a basic cleaning once a week
Perhaps I need to just suck it up and do this myself. I can't expect someone else to be the way I am especially if to them its nothing and its not a big deal.
I don't know how to make him understand that this is something that is important to me.. this is something I want for my child. I want to be raised in a house where they don't have to be around dirt and dust, they can be kids and enjoy themselves but still have good habits that they can take with them through the rest of their lives........
The more I progress in my pregnancy... the more I feel like we weren't ready.... at all. I'm too different from him and he's too different from me so how in the world are we supposed to raise a child with good values and good habits?
It sounds so stupid but I feel like everything is a foundation in its own way for the future......
I dunno... i'm just rambling.
2 comments:
First of all, you're never ready! Whether it's your first or second.
Secondly, you're going to need to let go a little or you'll drive yourself crazy (or get a severe case of PPD when you can't do EVERYTHING).
Things change in relationship when you have kids. Things you might have put up with before you don't want to put up with anymore. Your ideas oh what is right and wrong might differ in terms of raising your child. It's totally and completely natural.
These are two words that I've LEARNED are important in raising a child with someone else: Trust and Respect.
Trust your husband with loving, caring, and even influencing your child. He has just as much right as you do even if he doesn't do things your way. You just have to trust that it'll work out.
Respect how he raises your child. No matter how happy you were growing up, this child is not your parents to be raised exactly as you were. This child is yours AND your husbands and SHOULD be influenced by both of you.
I probably rambled quite a bit, but there are so many similarities in our lives (cross cultral marriage and all that), I had to give some input :)
By the way, a little dirt and mess never really hurts kids that much :)
To answer your comment on my blog, things are just "going" with me. I was induced with my son so I'm really eager (and nervous!) to go into natural labor this time (this will be our last one). But my little girl is a tease! Just gives me contractions irregularly with no clue as to when she's going to make an appearance.
It's funny, after I left that comment for you, my husband tells me today that he wants to take my son to see our neighbor's son play soccer. I was like "cool, I want to come too!". I was told very nicely that this was his "father and son time" and I should find something else to do with the baby, lol. But no matter how much I might want to tag along, I have to be so happy to have a guy that thinks that type of relationship with his child is important.
If you ever need a sounding board, I'm here for you :)
Post a Comment
Please Leave a Comment Here: