Joie De Vive

Years ago when I was in college in canada I experienced what most would call a crisis of faith.... I'd been raised like so many others in the muslim faith, to believe with all my heart that all I had been taught was true. That yes there was a God and yes He loved us... yes there had been prophets throughout the ages.. yes there were books that held God's word. Every step of the way I followed all the do's and don'ts - but it was always with half a heart. I went through the motions because I had to. I followed God because I had to. That is what a good person does is it not?

Between 9th grade and my first year of college, I lost 2 friends to car accidents, moved entire hemispheres, learned that my parents weren't perfect and realized that somewhere inside I'd just given up. Don't get me wrong, I never stopped believing in God... I just being very apathetic to the idea of faith and following God. I didn't see the point. I was insignificant in the grand scheme of things - why would He care if I prayed or if I ate halal or non halal food. In my world view none of it mattered and so I stopped, completely.

The next few years were some of the hardest of my life - personally, emotionally and physically. I did things that ended up being some of the biggest regrets of my life. I was involved in a very destructive relationship that all but completely destroyed my sense of self worth. My family and I weren't speaking at all, I had no friends around and I was in london, england at the time and could not have been more alone.

Out of nowhere my parents showed up, pulled me out of there and swooped me to kuwait. My mother spoke of them loving me always and more importantly of God loving me. Always. I scoffed at the idea of it. Why would He want anything to do with me? I was no one.

Over the next few months I recovered at home - I became a hermit in my little room tucked away in an apartment building in Kuwait. During this time a girl that had been dating my cousin in NY reached out to me via MSN messenger. It was completely random, we'd met once while I was visiting the US and she'd seemed sweet. Over the weeks and months, we talked almost every few days online. I told her how I'd walked away from my faith and she told me of a book - The Alchemist.

That book changed my life. It spoke of seeing God's hand in every day life. Seeing His signs and His handiwork in the little things. Knowing when He was trying to talk to you and guide you.

The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances.


The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.


To die tomorrow was no worse than dying on any other day. Every day was there to be lived or to mark one's departure from this world. Everything depended on one word: "Maktub."


The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of this wisdom. That's what I mean by action.





Since then I haven't been able to help but notice God's handiwork in my life. A few weeks after Sherin gave me the book "The Alchemist", my parents took me on Umrah and then Hajj. Those two trips changed my life forever. I stood in front of the house of God and bared my soul in a way that I'd never done before. I prayed and cried and begged.. and finally I handed myself over to Him. That day I prayed that whenever I did get married, it be to someone that He brought into my life that was meant for me, and that within a year of my marriage I be able to return and do umrah with my husband.

The following few months event after event unfolded that were all so unbelievable that they had to have a divine hand behind them. For example: I was supposed to go to canada to go to college, my dad prayed and told me to apply to philly as well. A week before I was to fly to canada, my father walked into my room after praying and told me he had canceled my flight to canada because when he prayed he had a feeling that canada was not the right place for me right now.

I was beyond livid - I felt trapped and tied down. 2 days after my conversation with my father, I got an email from the college in canada saying that they hoped I hadn't already flown to canada because the entire program I had applied to had been canceled.

I was floored.

That is how I ended up going to Philly instead - the day I walked into my school, the first person I met is now my husband and father of my beautiful daughter. Coincidence? Thats what most people would call it. I know better - it was His divine hand in my life once again.

to be continued......